Movie #50: Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen

After all the indie, foreign, direct-to-DVD movies that I’ve been watching lately in my 50-movie marathon, I thought I’d end my adventure with a blockbuster bang. After the first Transformers movie blew out my eardrums, I was not eager to watch Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen on the big screen. However, since those robots-in-disguise played a substantial role in my childhood, I still felt the need to see how a new generation is experiencing Optimus Prime and his brood. Well, I’m really glad that I watched it at home not just because I could moderate the decibels, but also because I could freely yell my comments at the screen. “You have got to be kidding!”, “That’s so ridiculous!” and “What the …?” are not some of the things I want to be heard declaring in a theatre. Director Michael Bay is back with his CGI scrap heaps, and more pyrotechnics and explosions than ever. I don’t know if it’s worth recapping the plot, but Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) and Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox) are back in the franchise that made them hot commodities (especially Fox, who doesn’t seem able to parlay her success or hotness into any other project quite so well). Josh Duhamel is also back as Major Lennox (the only military guy who seems tuned into what’s going on with the Transformers). Together they try to stop a resurrected Megatron (that’s the thing about dead robots — they recharge) and his pre-historic sire (apparently Decepticons are like vampires: they’re ageless and have been living among us for millennia. Whatev…) as they try to recharge by draining the Sun (As if! Scientists have now learned that the sun is actually a ball of energy that is larger than the Earth, and probably not so easily drained). The Transformers phenomenon had always made something exciting out of a pretty thin concept. That’s why I hate that filmmakers feel the need to dress up the essential robot conflict over planetary resources with stupid scenes like Sam’s mom getting loopy on pot-brownies, two idiotic robot sidekicks who sound like the Wayans Brothers (and not the good ones!), and the less said about that co-ed Decepticon fembot the better. I am shocked that writers like Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman (who also worked on Fringe, Alias, and the Star Trek movie) worked on this script. But, at the end of the day none of that matters. This movie is about cars and robots and explosions — all of which we got in spades. (3 out of 5)

That’s all folks!

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